yinza: (uber secret)
Any takers for free sketches this year?

BESIDES YOU REMA since I already talked to you. :D
yinza: (video games)
Because it seemed like the thing to do to prepare for a hurricane, I restarted FF6.

Actually the two events are just coincidental.

Anyway, in the two prior times I attempted to play this game, I always forgot what I was doing, so I thought it would be a good idea to write it down.

Here's what's happened so far... )
yinza: (no words)
My body tells me it's spring. Behind everything is that distant hum, disguising itself as the murmur of the air conditioning, or the soft rush of cars down the street. It makes everything seem broader, emptier somehow. Rationally I can attribute for the noise, but when I stop thinking about it, I distrust my ears and keep imagining there's something there in the distance, a thrumming, something that won't come any closer but sits waiting.

I want this building to empty of people. They seem out of place, unreal in this new, not-quite-real world. Part of me is sure that I could walk right through them, but there's nothing to tell me I belong here any more than they do. Still, if they all vanished, I could search out the source of the hum, follow the vibrations through my bare feet.

I want to come back here in the middle of the night, after even the work-a-holics have gone home, and stand in the darkness and see what this place looks like devoid of everything I typically use to define it. All my coworkers and their bustling, they ought to be the purpose of this place, but instead I feel that they displace it. At college we used to go into our darkened classrooms past midnight, creeping as if we weren't allowed. After everyone had gone, some secret remained, always just down the hall and beyond our reach. We could sense it in the periphery of our vision, peering back at us and slipping into hiding when we turned.

More than all that I want to get out of here. I can feel the thrumming rise up through me and skitter along my spine, inciting me to an action which I don't understand. I'm restless and aimless. I can't recall what I'm meant to be doing enough to focus on it, and when someone speaks to me, I don't comprehend the words. It's as if we're speaking underwater.

Maybe this will all make more sense when I'm home.
yinza: (no words)
I feel like I'm losing moments. When people black out for hours and can't remember what happened, that's one thing. But it's not even seconds, I feel like. Just suddenly I'll have a papercut, when I haven't handled paper for hours. Or I'll come back to my room to find the door open or the light on when I'm sure I left it closed and dark. I know no one's been in there. Did I forget turning back for a moment to grab something? Did I scribble down a note somewhere, to remind myself of something, and forget I ever left it? If I ever found that note, would I find a thin line of blood from where I accidentally sliced into my finger?

But even if I had done such a thing, I'm sure I'll never find the note. That little slip of paper, real or not, doesn't exist in a world I have access to. Maybe in one of those lost instants, I'll recall how to retrieve it, but it'll only be gone again.

When I think of things that way, I'm not sure if I fear the stretching of this lost time into minutes and hours, or look forward to it. I wonder who I am on the other side.
yinza: (crazy - Eiji)
In Japan.

Uhh... yeah. More later. When I`m on my own computer maybe.

yinza: (Default)
unfinished freewrite from history class. no, clearly i wasn't taking notes.

They mailed my brother back to me in a cardboard box. )
yinza: (Default)
1) Sally forth to Fanfiction.net. Gird thy loins. Plunge in.
2) Choose a book, movie, show, etc. you have never heard of (or, in a pinch, at least one you know nothing about aside from the name) that has at least ten fics listed.
3) Read only the first page of story summaries.
4) Using what you have learned from these summaries, describe what this book/movie/whatever is about. Be as silly as you like, but ONLY use whatever you just learned...



Earth: Final Conflict

Renee, Liam, and a bunch of other people with bizarre names fly around aimlessly on a Taelon ship. Renee thinks that she and Liam are an item, but Liam takes frequent vacations with other people, mostly men. (Or at least, their names sound masculine, but apparently there's another gender in Taelon.) Said trips include getting to know Sandoval's human side, and encountering Da'an all alone in the woods. Meanwhile, Lili leaves Earth with her newborn baby, wondering whatever happened to Da'an.

After Liam joins the Taelons and the Jaridians, a dimensional rupture dumps an Autobot onto the Taelon mothership, and Liam dies. Much angst on Renee's part ensues, but she forgets about it when she runs into Howlyn, who has become human and therefore unrecognizable; she falls in love with him him and they soon give in to their burning passion for each other. Moving on.

In the end, Boone discovers that Liam isn't really dead after all and goes to talk to Renee, who decides to stick with Howlyn. I guess that's okay though since Liam has Da'an. Which sucks for Lili.

...and, um, they all enjoy fox-trot dance. Or something.
yinza: (Default)

Official NaNoWriMo 2004 Winner!


50,699 words, and nowhere near finished with the story. I'm going to sleep now.
yinza: (Aerith)
It's one of those days.

You know.

The days when the air smells like rain and there are puddles in the street like windows to the world on the other side of the pavement. Beneath everything is this constant-but-not-constant splashing and flowing.

It confused me. I looked out the window and there was no green, and I thought that there should be green. Like moss. Soft moss wet from last night's rain. But there wasn't. The tree was there, bare and quivering.

But it smells like spring. It feels like spring. And it makes me happy, because I like the cool, damp breezes on spring days and the sunshine that you can bathe in to get warm. But it's not hot, not melting like summer. Things turn green, that beautiful shade of spring green that you cannot find when you have no winter...

And then it makes me sad, because I love the winter. I love the snow. I see old piles of snow on the sides of the roads, with dirt and twigs and old dead leaves shoved aside with them. Cars splash through the puddles and dirty them more. It's nearly enough to make me cry. My friend the snow is clean no longer. My friend the snow is dead and dying. I miss my friend the snow. Farewell, my friend the snow.

My friend the rain, though, she visits often now. She is in the air, I can smell her, I can taste her, I can feel her on my skin and sense her in my mind. Hello, my friend the rain.

It's days like these that make me remember something that should not be a memory. It does not seem possible, but I remember it like it is a memory, not a dream, not a dream.

It was a long time ago, in March, or perhaps April. My brother and I were out in the yard, and ice covered it. The sun was shining behind a thin layer of cloud, so that the sky seemed white. The ice was melting. The air was cool, and we wore our winter jackets still. I remember walking along the ice, without slipping, and watching it crack beneath my boots, watching the air flow in bubbles beneath the ice, watching it break beneath me.

Whenever I recall this memory-that-should-not-be-a-memory, I lose my focus, I look around, as though there is someone nearby who I cannot see, or perhaps someone who just left. I feel as though I have lost something.

Was it my friend the snow, saying goodbye?

December 2016

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